During the last year, I would say from June onward I would constantly entertain a thought that would ignite my spirit with joy and new hope. The thought was: “Next year this time, I will hold our new bundle of joy. ” It was a thought that would shift my attention to something new - awaiting joy to fill our hearts anew. Well, during the middle of October we received the news that my daughter Josie was pregnant again. We were elated and that it happened so quickly. And then of course the wait on the gender reveal. I expected a boy, as I thought God would not give us another girl again. In my (earthly tiny) mind, I figured God works differently, as if I should know better. It was indeed a girl! How different our God works to that which we expect Him to do? During the months that followed, thoughts of fear would dominate my mind. Again and again I had to bring my thoughts into alignment to that of His. I chose every time to trust Him, - “Lord, I chose to trust you”. As God so ordained it, it was during her last trimester that they discovered a complication that should have been picked up right in the beginning. The news at first was overwhelming to the parents and myself, but after consultation with a doctor friend, we were put at ease. After speaking to my best friend, she encouraged me not to allow it to cloud my trust and judgement. The wisdom gained from speaking to my best friend, whose daughter had the same diagnosis a year earlier on, I decided to not share the information with anybody but to pray and trust our Heavenly Father. I had total peace about Penelope’s well-being. Our beautiful rainbow baby, Penelope, arrived on the 6 of June, a day after my birthday. Everything about her was perfect, lacking nothing.

God wouldn't give it to you, if you couldn't handle it. I was new in business and so to say the new girl on the block. My husband and I prayed a very audacious prayer - that was for a huge contract / million rand contract. Just two years of being in business, the opportunity presented itself to submit a cost estimate. I knew that I was competing against many and dominating companies. But I sought God's council in how to submit my cost estimate. The day came that they announced it who the successful bidder was - was us! Of course it didn’t go down well with the others, they even schemed to get the contract away from me. But it didn’t work. Now, this was not the most challenging part of the contract- we had to finance the job for which we had no money. We exhausted every avenue to get going, but with no luck. We were not creditworthy for such an amount. Phone calls to the bank’s head office - no luck. They even suggested that we partner with one competitor to do the job. My husband agreed that maybe we should consider this option. I stood my ground and believed that God would not have given us the job if we weren’t able to accomplish it. After prayerful consideration and humility we approached our client with our dilemma and they agreed to submit the bank with a letter of intent. Sometimes when asking God for something, we have the idea or expectation that it is a done deal- easy going. But mostly there is a challenge to it, a process that we need to go through first; growth - character building - faith building - dependence on Him - perseverance, that would allow us to take fully charge of that which we have asked God for, it's almost like a birthing experience. The next time round we already have some faith muscles we can rely on to kick in. Don’t look down on your adversities, challenges or mountains- see it as growth opportunities- after all, God would not allow it if He thought you were not able of handling it.

Now, more than ever, we the church should rise to the call of prayer. We are living in desperate and uncertain times. God is waiting for us His church to respond to this crisis. If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. (2 Chron. 7v14) This is a time to rally together and approach His throne of grace and call upon His name to bring an end and prevent any more devastation to come to our land. Every morning for the past week in my prayer time, I have been sensing that the urge to pray into this matter is growing and becoming deeper as we go along. We need to understand that we are not fighting against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Eph.6v12) We cannot afford to lie low there is just too much at stake, church. It is time to arise to our call! Let’s not give in to the enemy's evil scheme, pray against his works. Church, we have nothing to lose but so much to gain. This is a pivotal moment in our history – where we are standing on the brink of a revival. Yes, in a situation like this – the perfect storm that has the potential to orchestrate one of the greatest revivals we have ever seen. Church, this is harvest time! “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5v16 As the world around us is riddled in fear, let us rise to the call of intercession. Over the years, I have heard the number one excuse for not being able to pray was “Time”. Well, time is no longer a problem - now is the perfect opportunity to make use of idle time – pray. Get your family involved and pray. “In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. ” Psalm 5v3. I believe, the devastating effects of this virus, is still ahead of us but we can pray that God will protect us and bring a quick restoration to our economies. “We do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your great mercy.” Daniel 9v18. I have put together a simple prayer for this time, please download here.

This morning as I was preparing myself for quiet time, I just felt the Lord was saying: “Take heart my people, I am with you, and I go before you. This too will pass. I am the Lord your God, who uphold heaven and earth and surely will uphold you with my right hand. Do not fear! You are in the world, but not of the world. Do not allow the yoke of heaviness that the world wants to place upon you overtake you. Stand therefor strong in the promises of the Almighty God. Be strong and courageous, very courageous – for fear will and has swiped through the lands. Stand on my word and promises – I am with you. Do not let the voices of the world make you tremble, for you are in me and I in you. Hold firm to your faith. I am greater and beyond this – you know this – so stand firm in your faith.” How comforting to know that we as believers can stand secure in our Lord Jesus Christ. We do not have to give in to fear, or despair, for He is with us. The enemy wants to incite fear and panic. Let’s look to Him for guidance and counsel – the author and finisher of our faith. What enemy intends for harm; God will use for good. I have written a simple prayer to pray in this challenging and uncertain times. Download it here . Let us stand together in prayer and trust God to do the impossible. Be Blessed

The other night driving home from visiting my daughter, I was thinking and reflecting on Valentines Day. Earlier that day and every year, I smile at the many men who take time out and pop into the flower shop to get flowers for their partners. On this day you do not see any women in the store other than those serving and making up those bouquets. I look at the men, looking very serious and concentrated, getting the perfect bunch together, walking out proudly with their pick — hoping their partners will receive their romantic gesture with gratitude, appreciation and love. This one-time and other special occasions people put extra effort into letting a loved one know they matter and are loved. This thought brought me back to my life and maybe yours. We are busy every day with the people who matter to us. We have conversations—meaningful and not meaningful. We disagree to agree. We eat together, watch a series together. We laugh and cry together. When facing storms, we endure together. Thinking of my daughter, how I watched her going through the loss of her daughter; always checking to make sure she was okay. We spoke and shared about our processing of the loss over the past year. But I realized some things I wanted and want her to know; I didn’t get to say yet. I first thought, I will get to tell her sometime. But what if it is too late? That’s when I wrote her a letter the next day. I took time and wrote a letter to my daughter. Telling her the things I do not tell her in our normal conversations. Life passes us by so quickly, and so do memorable moments. How better than to capture those moments on a piece of paper—validating, inspiring and encouraging someone else. Letting them know that you take notice and that you are present in their lives. I remember years ago, when my daughter—the eldest turned sixteen, I wrote a poem, capturing all the memorable moments from the day she was born. I framed it and gave it to her on her birthday. When her brother turned sixteen, he insisted on his poem. I did one for each of our children. And when my daughter got married and expected her first baby, I wrote her letters. These poems and letters, I know, impacted my children’s lives. It was my way of sharing my heart with them. In which way, can you impact your family life?

A week has gone by, and the doctors were still uncertain about Elizabeth’s sickness. More blood tests and brain scans to get them closer to the truth. After eleven days being in hospital, they transferred her to another hospital, as they have found traces of Leukemia in her blood. The news horrified us, and I had to remind myself that she would be okay—according to my dream. The specialist doctor observed, examined her carefully and asking many questions to the parents. Another lumbar punch and almost five hours later, we had the results. She does not have Leukemia. The doctor explained that Elizabeth displays no signs of such and furthermore her blood cells does not present characteristics of Leukemia. It relieved us. It was only four days later that they diagnosed her with Autoimmune Encephalitis. They started immediately with Cortisone treatment, and she responded well to the medication. We expected her stay in hospital to be much longer, depending on her response to the medication, and they released her from hospital on the fifth day. We were pleased and thankful for the amazing and quick progress she had made. During this time, the doctors monitored her blood results, screening for Leukemia and Tuberculosis as the symptoms fall in the same parameters. On her release day, I had made her favourite food—Spaghetti Bolognese! In the weeks that followed, she had to wear an eye-patch for one or two hours a day. On a follow-up visit to the hospital in October, her condition was satisfactory and her blood tests showed no concerns. Elizabeth was her normal self again and could start Kindergarten in October. I continued to pray and thank God for her amazing healing. Her parents enrolled her into a baby gym classes and I had the privilege to accompany her every Wednesday afternoon. I watched how she climbed and jumped through the obstacle course. Occasionally she would sleep over by her Nana and Api (that is how she called her grandfather) and would enjoy her favorite breakfast—scrambled eggs with us. She got sick one time with Diarrhoea and stayed one night in hospital for observation. When she went for a checkup in December, they did an MRI and found it normal compared to the scans in August. There was no increase or decrease in the swelling on her brain. I remained hopeful for her full recovery. Job 11:18 "You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety."

This morning as we sang the song, “ Waymaker" , the chorus line awed me, “He never stops working” . I am humbled by it, assured and comforted by it. I still can’t stop crying thinking about these words. I was also deeply convicted. Humbled How often I make light of my prayers, as a "by the way” request. Not too many years ago, I would pray and ask God to intervene or do something, and already having a plan “b” in place—just in case God does not turn up. I am humbled knowing that He is always working to my benefit. Assured To know that no matter what or how big or small my request is He is paying attention, and He hears my prayers. I know that there is nothing more that God wants me to do, than to come to Him first with all my concerns. He wants to be first, and foremost in my life. I am assured knowing that the outcome to a situation is not always according to my expectation but for my good. And even if I don't see it or feel it, I know He is working and is faithful. Comforted When I do not get an immediate response and answer to my prayers—I know He is working on my behalf. To know that even when He delays an answer, He is still working. Just this morning before church, I was speaking to someone about my son, and I commented lightly, “that it is a prayerful matter”. Even this matter, where it feels that my prayer is not being answered—not just yet, He is still working. He never stops working, we see and experience it every day. From the moment we open our eyes to the moment we say goodnight to our beloved ones; resting in His arms—He is still working. Everything about us requires a beautiful orchestration of His hands. We are the works of His hands and He upholds us with His right hand. How encouraging to know, He never stops working! So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41v10

A year ago, we gathered in Elizabeth’s hospital room, with the hope of a miracle. The night before the doctors prepared us for the worst. The pressure and fluid kept rising in her brain, and they had to remove part of her skull to make more space for her brain. We needed to wait twenty hours, before they declare her brain dead. Before we drove out to the hospital, I went for a walk. I just had to get out of the house. It was still dark, and it rained that morning. I screamed and pleaded God for a miracle. As I made my way back to the house, I said:” Okay, Lord, you can have her. I lay her on the altar”, in desperation. Making our way to the hospital, I sensed a peace—a peace that was with us as we entered her room and stayed with us the whole day. Walking into the room, I saw a nurse preparing dough. I then realized that what we hoped and prayed for did not happen—no blood flow to the brain. We stayed hopeful. I tickled her feet and rubbed her arms and spoke with her, hoping and praying she would open her eyes. By noon the doctors came by to speak with us about more tests before the de-escalation process. I wished for the time to stand still for us to have more time with Elizabeth. As they wheeled her back into the room, they prepared the room and made it comfortable for us. They brought in a bigger bed for the parents to lie next to her. As the time drew near for the de-escalation to start, I noticed that the sky cleared up and the sun was shining into the room. Late afternoon we said our final goodbyes to Elizabeth. We could stay with her for as long as we wished. As I held her for the last time, and pressed her tightly to my chest, all I wanted was for life to get back into her. I watched the nurse lit candles as the sunset, how she gently washed Elizabeth as if she was porcelain. There was so much peace in that room. We drove home in silence. Later that night when speaking to my friend, I mentioned to her, that it felt as if we were restrained. I could not explain it but looking back over that day, I know that the Holy Spirit restrained us. So many people around the world prayed for Elizabeth, and yet she died. I battled through the night with the thought that she was ripped away from us at such a very young age. It was the next morning when my daughter shared with me a piece out of Lysa Terkeurst book, "It's not supposed to be this way" , and it was a message for me from heaven: " God didn’t cause this but He is allowing it…" . I know this, that God did not cause the sickness, but He allowed it to happen. We will never have the answers and we continue to believe that God is good and faithful. He has our world in the palm of His hand. Isaiah 41:10 ESV Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Another Dimension of Growth